by Mel March
“The Wales of the East, this is Norfolk.” In 2013, VisitNorwich looked to create an Alpha Papa walking tour in response to Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. Only the joke was on us when it became apparent the film locations were a triangle of around 80 meters between City Hall, The Forum and Bethel Street. But like Alan, we have perseverance, and a tour ensued to critical worldwide acclaim.
Sadly, the tour no longer runs, however here are some locations in Norwich- along with some reminders of Partridge past, where you can “go for a walk” in Alan’s shoes. Enjoy “a breath of fresh air” and pick up some “window screen washer fluid” from Thornes.
Fast forward over a decade and head off the A1067 to the newly opened Alan Partridge Sound Bath Garden at Pensthorpe to experience nature through Alan’s eyes and ears.
Though in an RHS interview recently he was quick to point out “I’m not what you’d consider a gardener or a garden fancier. No disrespect to your readers! I have a lot of time for gardeners – proud, taciturn people with weather beaten faces and limited social skills. I’m just not one myself.”
Image: Norwich Cathedral from Mousehold (c) Bill Smith
Sat on its site for 900 years we think Norwich Market has come on in leaps and bounds. Alan- not so much: “And over all those centuries, very little has changed. Where once there were bearskins and quivers, just substitute that for monkey hats and tat.”
Today, the market is a mecca for international street food. From New York to Norwich – sandwiches the size of your face at The Bodega to traditional fish and chips with Lucy. And lots of cheese.
You can even get a tattoo, though we think Alan would squeal like a pig before the needle got close to his ar .. arm, seeing him run for pedestrianised London Street. He’d be grateful then for the lack of traffic.
Not for human consumption the market is also great for hoover bags, XXXL belts, and Velcro. We looked high and low for “a snithe Smurf stuffed with used bandages and a sock for a hat”. Disappointed.
In August, Norwich Castle re-opened its Keep taking it back to its medieval status- work started on its build as a Royal Place by Henry I in 1067. We are not suggesting it’s been a continuous building site for 900 years.
Following ‘palace status’ the castle became the city’s prison for 500 years and location for corporal punishment. It is here we find local legend Robert Kett and his brother hanged following Kett’s Rebellion in 1549. And with Alan’s favour towards the death penalty for “treason and murder” it’s safe to say he would have raised no objection and been found in prime front row position (not unlike a designer runway show) at the castle gates, with a Toblerone.
Definition in Five Parts by John Maine (c) Bill Smith
“The perfect place to go jogging every morning whilst making those last-minute budget decisions”, though these days it’s trickier as navigation around new ground level artworks in the cloister would probably lead Alan into a rant about Health & Safety.
Jogging aside, walking through the cloister and grounds right now you’ll experience Art in the Close featuring contemporary works from Lynn Chadwick and John Maine. Venture inside and look for medieval graffiti. In particular see the Keynsford family with their name written upside down along with a combination of symbols of the sun and the moon to form a curse.
Ahead of a meeting in 1995 with BBC commissioning editor Tony Hayers “numero one”, Alan suffered humiliating graffiti “rude daubing’s” to his Rover 800 which could be seen as a modern-day curse.
The 2020 temporary Partridge statue outside The Forum
The stuff of legends. No longer produced in Norwich but still proudly adorning cushioned lap trays across our city. At Tesco’s supermarket described by Alan “like an enormous cathedral where people come to worship shampoo and grapes” it’s £1.70 for a 100g jar. It still proudly says Colman’s of Norwich on the canary yellow label.
Alan just couldn’t help himself trying to make a joke in front of Karen Colman when he took a large teaspoon of said mustard “this will make you laugh, too much mustard gets up your nose. Nonsense.” We’re still wincing.
This blue waistcoat would look good layered over a safari suit
At the premiere of Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa, Alan described his outfit as a “fusion of the styles between Prince Charles and Sir Roger Moore.”
His baby blue safari suit (some might argue powder blue) was certainly an arresting choice making us wonder if it was haute couture for the special occasion or whether he was making a sustainable statement? Thinking about it probably not. Similar purchases can be made in Norwich at any of the fine array of vintage and second-hand shops across the city centre, head to Taxi Vintage on the Market, Sue Ryer on Bridewell Alley or lose yourself in Looses on Magdalen Street. For hours.
In 2012 Norwich became England’s first UNESCO City of Literature. A designation for the city acknowledging its literary heritage, present and future, though we’re not sure if autobiographies were taken into account.
Alan with his keen eye for the written word called out market stall holders for their “quick and loose approach to grammar. In particular their cavalier use of apostrophes.” That was 13 years ago, now with perpetrators facing medieval stocks at The Guildhall for such frivolous contempt of punctuation, this practise has all but been wiped out. That along with the invention of Chat GPT. If The National Centre for Writing (Dragon Hall) had then been in existence, they could have offered some grammatical support.
Norwich is a city green with urban gardens, riverside walks, large and small spaces to enjoy the natural world. However, there’s a new kid on the block. Grab your driving gloves, ramp up the volume to Feel for Me and head onto the A1067 for Pensthorpe to visit The Alan Partridge Sound Bath Garden straight from the RHS Hampton Court Palace Garden Festival.
“A sound garden for the people of Norfolk” this is Alan’s gift- a sculptural nature sound bath for people to enjoy for many years to come. A garden he has designed in collaboration with Norfolk-based design company Carey Garden Design Studio. “As someone not poor enough to have ever lived in a flat, gardens have been a feature of my domestic life for decades.”
BBC’s new Alan Partridge series- a six-part mockumentary “And did those feet … with Alan Partridge” airs October 2025.
